C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
