dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
