What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
