Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
