About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
