You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
