Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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