I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
