Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
