Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
