you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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