2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Be still, my beating vagina.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
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