Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
