hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
