U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
