I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
