I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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