Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You ate ashes out of my bong
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
