wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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