If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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