i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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