i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
