Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
