Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize