yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
