Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
