But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize