..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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