I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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