if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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