Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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