Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize