I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
