Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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