so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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