That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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