I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
