is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
