i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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