Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
