Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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