Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
