dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm jealous of your bromance
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
