what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
