Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
