i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
