Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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