Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize