I didn't shave. On purpose
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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