i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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