walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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