We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
