says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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