You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
