He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
