OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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