He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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