The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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