I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
