is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize