wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The air was thick with penises
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
