forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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