Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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